Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Devil Speaks

Wandering through infernal regions of caustic fire, which to genius is a delight though to rationalists and angels it appears a torment, I saw inscribed on the air in letters of corrosive flame

New Sayings of Hell

Never pick your nose after chopping chillies – proverbial wisdom!

When man invented smilies, God and the devil put aside their differences for they both found them intensely irritating. >8^‡

All the sayings of hell are false.

Drink in the evening, repent in the morning.

Eye never saw the sun unless it became sunlike, said the philosopher. The devil replied, because the eye is a moist sphere, so is the world a moist sphere.

Cyber-luddite – one who disseminates his views using technology of which he disapproves.

I am a cyber-luddite.

Hypocrisy – the art of making friends.

The devil’s work is never done.

Cynicism - the fruit of knowledge.

Eat in the morning, work in the afternoon, sleep at night.

Desire is the work of the devil, guilt the work of religion.

I used to have friends, but really, it was my enemies who kept me going.

Damn braces! Use a belt.

Obstruct the doors! Cause delays! Be dangerous!

1 comment:

Chris said...

"Never pick your nose after chopping chillies – proverbial wisdom!"

In this regard, I recommend the following corollary:

"Never go to the urinal after chopping chillies!"

Don't say I didn't warn you! >:D